I reject your reality and substitute my own

i dont even know anymore

  • taylor swift hater: oo a song about haters
  • taylor swift hater: ha thats me
  • taylor swift hater: *watches video*
  • taylor swift hater: uh........what do i hate on now...........uh........
  • taylor swift hater: *sees twerking*
  • taylor swift hater: fuckin racist

My mom called my doctor and said to him “What’s the most accurate measurement for weighing?”
The doctor said “An underwater weighing test”
And just like that, my mom said “Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?” and the doc said “Today at 2pm.”

So, I didn’t bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants…Ugh).

My sister said “Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?” The doctor said “No.”
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it..but I didn’t.

– someone posted this copypasta on /b/ in like 2003 and whenever anyone asked for clarification on any one of the bizarre non-sequiturs in it he would just reply with shit like “it was an underwater weighing test” or “her hair got wet” and the thread got up to 200 replies before he got banned by two different mods for frustrating the shit out of everyone and this is still the golden standard i hold trolls to (via sexhaver)